The Underling Fair
by Omega-Keyblade
Summary: The Organization has its semiannual Underling Fair... Hilarity ensues. Larxene and Marluxia have parental issues. One chapter for each Org. member planned. Maybe an extra to announce the winner.
1. The Underling Fair

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or South Park, or anything I use in this except the Underling Fair.

This is a fun Org. fic I wrote one day. I write lots of short chapters because they all end the same way XD. Anyway, R, R and enjoy!

The Underling Fair

CRASH! BANG!

Axel slowly got up and summoned his chakras. "WHO DID THAT!"

Demyx laughed sheepishly and walked through the portal into Axel's room. "Just... uh... setting up... my... exhibit..."

"Oh crap... The Underling Fair!" The Underling Fair happened once every 6 months to a year. Human shaped Nobodies would come to the Castle that Never Was and view exhibits from each member of the Organization, then choose who to work for. The lower 12 Organization memebrs (Xemnas decided it wasn't fair for him to be in the running since he was soooo cool) had a contest to see who could get the most evil minions.

Axel ran into the Hall of Empty Melodies and saw that only two people were actually setting up their exhibits. In a few minutes, the other nine Nobodies walked out of their rooms into Proof of Existence. "OH, CRAP!"

Demyx and Zexion were slowly pushing their exhibits at a rate of maybe 1 mile per day. If they were lucky.

Lexaeus got up and grinned. "I already did mine! See?" He pointed to his exhibit, (which was actually quite nice) depicting the benefits of getting giant weapons you could throw at people. However, he did this with the hand he was holding his tomahawk with and the exhibit turned to smithereens.

Then Axel asked the author, "What are smithereens?"

The author told him that it said in the dictionary that simthereens meant a group of various smithers... And then said to shut up.

Lexaeus wailed and threw his tomahawk at the wall. Since it was his stress tomahawk that Zexion had gotten him for his birthday, it bounced off. How the bouncy tomahawk had broken the exhibit, we may never know.

At which Larxene started cracking up after walking out of Marluxia's room.

Marluxia turned and looked at Larxene, who looked at Marluxia. Both screamed in a girly, high-pitched voice. Marluxia then turned to look at Larxene's pajamas, which were actually kinda scanty.

She slapped him, leaving a bunch of lines from her kunais on his face.

He screamed in a girly, high-pitched voice.


	2. Vexen's Butt Problem

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except the Fair. And here's chappie two. R&R por favor.

Vexen's Butt Problem

Vexen started cracking up. "Ha! I slipped a roofie in your drinks! Hahaha!"

Marluxia summoned his scythe and swung at Vexen, who blocked with his shield.

"Wellll... I'd better get back to my exihibit!" Vexen began chiseling away at a huge block of ice that already depicted how to get vocal surgery to make your laugh so strange it scared people.

Demyx was still dragging his exhibit along the floor, and Axel popped over to check it out. "Hey, that's pretty good."

The exhibit was a diorama of deadly musical instruments and funny catchphrases. The headings of the columns were a picture of a sitar and the everwimpy quotes, "They picked the wrong guy for this one..." and "Dance water, dance!" The part that caught the eye of every Organization member except Larxene though, was the section on the perks of controlling Dancer Nobodies.

"That's cheating! My Nobodies suck! After they die people just grab their swords and kill other stuff!" Saïx grabbed his sword and got P/Oed/ Noone liked Saïx when he was P/Oed because he would go into Beserk Mode and smash the furniture.

"No! Not that table! I spent all morning polishing it- NOOOOOOO!" Luxord started sobbing because his favorite poker table had been smashed.

"Chill! I have Dancers, you get to beat people up! But... uh... not me!" Demyx, seeing the Beserk Saïx, grabbed his exhibit and teleported to the other side of the room. "Eek!" He grabbed his sitar menacingly, then got a sly grin on his face. "Saïx, this is Lola. Lola, go buy him a drink. Or two, or three..." The Dancer Nobody led Saïx off by the arm, and all other members of the Organization wiped sweat off their faces.

Larxene came back out of Marluxia's room, and chucked a kunai at Vexen, which somehow managed to stick itself in his posterior, after which Vexen started whimpering and ran to the infirmary, screaming about his mommy, which was strange since everyone knows Nobodies have no mommies. Zexion sighed and left his exhibit, which depicted the detailed process of scheming (which was his forte of course, as the Cloaked Schemer), to go help Vexen pull the kunai out of his butt.

Axel went into his room and the faint sound of someone quite possibly laughing themselves to death emerged from the room. Then the sound of someone snorting soda out of their nose came from Roxas, who walked out of Marluxia's room.

Larxene then pulled something out of her pajamas and asked Marluxia in a very meek, timid voice, very unlike her usual sadistic self, "Um... What does it mean when you see the blue dot?"

Marluxia looked at Roxas, Larxene, felt the lines on his face, and screamed in a girly, highpitched voice.


	3. Xaldin's Cartman Impersonation

Disclaimer: See first two chapters. Geez, people.

A/N: In case some of you people live under rocks, in the episode I refer to Al Gore keeps saying 'cereal' instead of 'serious.' OK? ...

Xaldin's Cartman Impersonation

"Oh... dear god... Larxene is pregnant!" Xigbar fell onto the ground and started beating the floor laughing. "Oh god... which slice of bread in the sandwich is the daddy? I _do _hope it's Marluxia! That would be _precious_!" Then one of his guns went off and he shot Xaldin in the foot.

"Ow! God! Are you cereal!" Xaldin chucked a spear at Xigbar, which pinned him to the ground. Zexion reemerged from the infirmary and slapped his head.

"Xaldin... Have you been watching South Park again? Because I told you _not _to watch the Al Gore episode... You really are a fool. Remember what happened when you saw the Scott Tenorman episode? You tried to turn the Superior into chili! Remember why he took away your Iron Chef kit? Soon, you'll be doing your Cartman impersonation again-"

"But moooooooooooom! I wanna go to the pooooooonies!" Xaldin started doing his Cartman impersonation.

"Oh, do it again! Do it again! Hey, do your Peter Griffin laugh!" Lexaeus looked up from the burning wreck of his exhibit and start laughing hearing Xaldin's Peter Griffin Laugh.

"Nyahahahahahahahah."

Zexion slapped himself in the forehead in exasperation and continued dragging his exhibit into the Hall of Empty Melodies.

Axel and Roxas started doing their imitation of Zexion... It involved a mad scientist routine and a bunch of red hand-marks on Roxas' face.

In the meantime, Larxene and Marluxia were looking at each other in a weird way. Larxene started first... "So... Um... How was it?"

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "Uh... uhm... yeah... uh..."

Larxene looked him up and down and stared at the blue dot. "What? Do you have something you need to tell me?"

Marluxia walked away and started setting up his garden exhibit, showing the affects of numerous girly flower attacks when used against unsuspecting fans. The main attraction was a clip of a fangirl chasing Marluxia, only to be cut down by daffodils, after which the fangirl said, "Daffodils? How the hell can you hurt someone with daffodils?" Marluxia then shrugged and cut her head off with his scythe.

The echo echoed through Proof of Existence. "_Noooootttt coooolllll!"_

Larxene slapped Marluxia with her kunais and demanded again, "What is it?"

Marluxia turned toward her, sighed, and whimpered really quickly, "I'm impotent."

Larxene shrieked in a girly, highpitched voice, Marluxia shrieked in a girly, highpitched voice. You know the drill.


	4. Xigbar's Eyepatch

Disclaimer: Check the first couple chapters... Kay? Thank you. Please review, otherwise I won't have motivation to continue...

Xigbar's Eyepatch

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Larxene screamed at Marluxia. Xigbar and Axel were rolling around on the floor, laughing themselves to death, until they rolled into each other and Axel accidentally ripped off Xigbar's eyepatch.

The entire Organization let out a collective, "Ewwwww..." Xigbar put his eyepatch back on and they resumed the tiring work of laughing their guts out, until Axel went off to go finish his exhibit on the wonders of pyromania and lighting things on fire (mostly other Nobodies). Little did the Organization know, but the exhibit also contained a device that induced pyromania in people who heard it. This way he was sure to win.

The Organization, who, through their powers of awesomeness, managed to get hold of the rough draft of this fic, started trying to kill Axel, who scrambled away and started picking them off with his chakras until Xigbar shot him in the... uh...

So the author mindwiped the Organization and took this fic out of the Library that Never Was.

Anyway... Larxene left more kunai lines on Marluxia's face, which now had a nice design of a puppy on it, and stormed off to find Vexen and get an abortion.

Meanwhile, Zexion and Lexaeus were plotting something...

"Ahem... Aren't we always plotting something? I mean, it's in my freakin' name! Really..." Zexion starting whining.

"Sorry Zexion... But some people who read these things are complete tards. So shut up and go back to plotting. Besides. It gives me filler..."

"Whatever... Anyway Lexaeus, pst pst pst pst..." Zexion leaned over and whispered in Lexaeus' ear, telling him of the dastardly plot.

Lexaeus looked at Zexion strangely. "Why did you say 'pst pst' ten times? And why the hell did you lick my ear?" Zexion looked around and his eye twitched a bit.

"Um... nevermind that. Anyway, we need to make sure that the baby is born somehow. Then we can use it's powers to kill Larxene because she wouldn't go with me to Spring Fling! Hahahahahaha!"

Lexaeus wondered if he was the only sane one in castle, aside from being a bit klutzy. "Um... OK... After you helped me fix my exhibit so I can win the contest." Zexion, pacing, muttered about of course he did and that it had only taken a bit of wood glue and nylon stockings...

Just then a loud sound came from the Hall of Empty Melodies, so Zexy and Lucious went to check it out. They saw Xigbar setting up a display that looked pretty much like a sniper rifle, which he was testing on the other exhibits.

Lexaeus started sobbing over the wreck of his burnt exhibit. "This'll take more than Larxene's lingerie..." Zexion muttered, ducking the kunais Larxene threw at him in mid-thought.

Lexaeus threw his tomahawk at Xigbar, which was unfortunate for Xigbar since this _wasn't _the stress tomahawk. Xigbar fell off of his perch like duck and slammed against the ground, taking off his eyepatch in the process.

"Eeeeewwwww..." Marluxia ran into the room to fix his eyepatch, after which he turned frantically to see if his garden was OK. It wasn't.

At this point, everyone who has read any previous chapters will let out a groan and think, "Here he goes again..."

Marluxia screamed in a girly, high-pitched voice.


	5. Axel's Pyromania Inducer

Disclaimer: Check the first couple chapters, people.

Well, that's the end of the chapters I wrote before I uploaded it here, so now I need reviews to keep writing...

Axel's Pyromania Inducer

Lexaeus and Zexion were back at their plotting. It had taken from 7 to 9, but since all the other members of the Organization were working on their exhibits anyway (except for Demyx), they had finished Lexaeus' new exhibit. They could now plot in peace because Demyx was practicing his musical demonstration, which meant the entire Organization was wearing the heart earmuffs Marluxia had bought everyone for Valentine's Day.

Marluxia: They were on sale! I couldn't resist!

Me: Shut up...

So Lexaeus and Zexion had finally finishedtheir plan. They snuck into the infirmary, where Vexen was still sore trying to pull a kunai out of his butt. They were ever so slow, but then Vexen looked up and saw them because Zexion decided to play the Mission Impossible Theme Song...

"Um... What are you doing here?"

"Uh... We're trying to sneak away a potion that will make Larxene give birth earlier so we can steal it so that we can use its powers to kill Larxene because she wouldn't go with Zexion to Spring Fling?"

At this point Zexion smacked Lexaeus so hard that his hair turned red because of it. Lexaeus' hair was originally green.

Lexaeus gaped. "Ooowwww..."

Vexen started laughing, a few babies died becaue of it, and then, because he was laughing so hard, the kunai popped out. "Go ahead then."

"What?"

"I said go ahead. It'll be funny."

"Oh, OK then..." Zexion grabbed the potion marked: Give to Larxene after Roofie, turned off the MI theme song, and walked off with Lexaeus. Vexen got up to go with them after putting a frozen Band-Aid on his butt.

Axel was working on his pyromania inducer. He turned it on, hearing himself saying over the tape, "Got it memorized?" Suddenly, something burst into flame. Marluxia ran out of his room beating out a fire on the bottom of his robe.

Zexion, Lexaeus, and Vexen ran our from the infirmary to see what was going on. Vexen sighed. "I'll try to freeze him..." He did, but only managed to bind him to the floor at the torso. "Oh, well."

Marluxia whimpered. "Please don't go there, plea- AHHHHH!"

Axel laughed for a bit, snapped his fingers, and clinched. "Memorized."

Larxene came out of the room holding a lighter laughing maniacally, not noticing Roxas standing behind her carrying a vat of burning oil. But it was OK, since the U.S. government ran in and grabbed the oil, and then went to go invade some more Middle-Eastern countries.

Then Roxas pulled out one of Axel's chakras. "Hey! Where'd he get that?" Axel summoned it, but not before he lit Larxene on fire.

Axel turned off the pyromania inducer in his exhibit and looked up. Xigbar was laughing up on his sniper display.

Xaldin turned off the South Park in his room and ran out. "I'll try to pin him down so Vexen can actually freeze him." Xaldin threw a spear. It landed _there. _Yes, _there._

Everyone, say it with me!

Marluxia screamed in a girly, high-pitched voice.


End file.
